Your Application is a Rotting Old Shack, Now What? (Phase 1)
This great article - Last In - First Out: Your Application is a Rotting Old Shack, Now What? - tells some serious truths about how badly a lot of application development is conducted. Though perhaps a better description of the failed processes would be “application management” or “application lifecycle”. The Phase 1 of this “application lifecycle” generally works like this:
- Company identifies need for Application
- Company decides internal team can’t develop Application and they decide to buy off-the-shelf Application.
- Company goes to market
- Company discovered no off-the-shelf Application does what is required or requires significant modification to do what is required.
- Company either buys off-the-shelf Application with intent to modify it or decides to develop Application themselves.
- Company decides internal team can’t perform the required modifications to the off-the-shelf Application OR build the required Application.
- Company goes to market to find an Application development team
- Company finds and engages highly-priced Consulting Company to perform Application development.
- Partner in highly-priced Consulting Company takes CIO + relevant line management to dinner/tennis/Maldives/strip club. (order of Steps 8 and 9 vary)
- Consulting Company sets up shop at Company bringing highly-skilled and trained development team. Team consists of one Director and 25 largely untrained grads.
- Application development.
- Application development completed. Please select three or more options below:
- Cost overruns
- Functionality descoped (usually includes “security”, “reporting”, and “management” functions)
- Incorrect Functionality developed (requirements, we don’t need no stinkin’ requirements!)
- Inadequate documentation (comments, we don’t need no stinkin’ comments!)
- No handover to internal team (handover, we don’t need no stinkin’ handover…!)
- Abbreviated or no training of staff due to time/cost constraints
- Insufficient or no test cases due to time/cost constraints
- No development or test environments
- Infrastructure does not match or integrate into Company’s environment
- Project after-action report acknowledges minor issues with the project but generally roaring success. Sixteen appendices containing feedback from internal teams mysteriously lost in fire in strip club in the Maldives.
- Partner at Consulting Company buys new Aston-Martin.
- Resentment and Alcohol intake in internal team sharply rises.
End Phase 1.