This is written by a former colleague, the very funny sarcastic_prat and will undoubtably make sense to some readers in light of recent news about our (former) employer.
Sorry in advance – only some of this will make sense, to some of the people…
Telstra – a new hope …
Not a long time to go, in a company not far, far, away…
Telstra Dome – Flight Deck …
An Operator (a BOFH to be precise) accidentally format’s a tape … the operator makes a strange, twisted agonised face, clutching their own throat and drops dead…
MEFCON1 and two storm troopers enter with PK. Walking over the fallen operator.
PK: Ziggy, I should have expected to find you holding MEFCON1′s leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.
ZIGGY: Charming to the last. You don’t know how hard I found it signing the order to terminate your life!
PK: I surprised you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself! especially after the way you ran OPTUS !
ZIGGY: PK, before your execution I would like you to be my guest at a ceremony that will make this Hostile Take-over operational. No company will dare oppose little Johnny Howard now.
PK: The more you tighten your grip, Ziggy, the more companies will slip through your fingers.
ZIGGY: Not after we demonstrate the power of the Telstra Dome. In a way, you have determined the choice of Sales People that’ll be destroyed first. Since you are reluctant to provide us with the location of the MANAGEMENT base, I have chosen to test this station’s destructive power … on your favourite salesman … DISCO DAVE !
PK: No! Disco Dave is peaceful. He has no weapons. You can’t possibly…
ZIGGY: You would prefer another target? A MANAGEMENT target? Then name the location
Ziggy waves menacingly toward PK.
ZIGGY: I grow tired of asking this. So it’ll be the last time. Where is the MANAGEMENT base?
PK overhears an intercom voice announcing the approach to Disco Dave.
PK: (softly) Goulburn Street.
PK lowers his head.
PK: They’re in Goulburn Street
ZIGGY: There. You see MEFCON1, he can be reasonable. (addressing another BOFH) Continue with the operation. You may fire when ready.
The BOFH checks it’s watch, (3am) smiles and calls technical support.
PK: What?
ZIGGY: You’re far too trusting. Goulburn Street is too remote to make an effective demonstration. But don’t worry. We will deal with your MANAGEMENT friends soon enough.
PK: No! not BUDDY BUDDY !
INTERIOR: TELSTRA DOME — BLAST CHAMBER.
MEFCON1: Commence primary ignition.
A button is pressed which switches on a panel of lights. A hooded BOFH reaches over and signs a checklist, then
another checklist to check the previous checklist and so on, this goes on for quite some time.
MEFCON1 smiles and stares at the BOFH
The BOFH drops dead
MEFCON1: Ex-cellence
MEFCON1 presses a button (not signing any checklists!) and a bank of lights on a panel and wall light up. A huge beam of light emanates from within a cone-shaped area and converges into a single laser beam out toward Disco Dave. The small salesman is blown into space dust.
In a large plush office block in Newtown:
The last Architect suddenly turns away and sits down. He smiles, seems almost ecstatic.
REDKAT: Are you all right? What’s wrong?
The Last Architect: I felt a great disturbance in the Force…as if millions of Salesmen suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I think something wonderful has happened.
- Respect & Props to the architects … revenge is near …
Needless to say 3 guesses who the Last Architect is… 
