This is a really nice love story.

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Going to hit a restaurant in Glebe with G & A and then maybe find a skanky Goth club somewhere and do some dancing. I feel like Indian but my ulcers say otherwise. Given, however, my usual disposition about my ulcers my response to them tonight is – “Go fuck yourself I am eating what I like”.

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All paperwork in, contracts exchanged, deposit paid, house bought. Settle in 42 days. Now to move. And renovate and stress. Dang this is supposed to be easier.

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As the little kiddo is currently still in the hypothetical phase and thus unnamed and un-gendered it shall be officially known as ‘The Sprog’ or TS for short.

Little TS has been the subject of much thought over the last few days. Names, times, house stuff, whether TS=1 is better or worse than than TS=<1 and all the other jazz that I am sure will get more complicated as we go along.

And I have been thinking about family. Watched a woman knitting on the bus this morning and it sparked a whole bunch of thoughts about my grandmother and how she would have loved great-grandchildren and opportunity to go into a total knitting frenzy – we’d have had sixteen pairs of booties and enough jumpsuits to wallpaper the house with. I think her grandchildren got too old too fast for her and she would have loved a second chance to play grandmother.

I sat with her in the Oncology ward the evening before she died. She had a brain tumour and her periods of lucidity had been reducing for weeks. But that evening she was completely there – the same bright and biting woman she had always been. It was as if she knew that this was the last chance to talk to her family. She told me she wanted me to finish school and go to university, that she was proud of me and that she wanted me to do well for her. It was grandmotherly emotional blackmail to the last I guess but it was an art my grandmother had mastered brilliantly and we all lined up like ducks when it was used. That night was New Year’s Eve and I went to a party I didn’t much enjoy. By the time I got home in the early hours of the morning she was dead. I’d have liked her to have met Lu, to see me graduate from University, to get married and to have kids.

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Finished re-reading Perfect Skin late last night and had a good long sit in the back yard thinking about life and other Nick Earls’ inspired topics. It would have to be my favourite of his books. It has featured a couple of times in this blog too. I always seem to re-read it at life changing moments. Or perhaps life changing moments make me pick it up. Either way did a lot of thinking last night – about kids, about the new house, about Lu, about family, about friends, hell about turning 30 next year – that one crept up on me too. Still not sure whether I am happy with everything in my life – there are some unresolved issues that continue to trouble my sleep – but as my friend B would say ‘Build a bridge and get the fuck over it’.

Listening to: New Order, Sophie Zelmani

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This guy is obviously a Philosophy/Theology major with far too much time on his hands.

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This is a great speech rendered even more interesting by the reaction it received when given at this year’s Rockford College commencement.

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It’s been a crazy and confused day. I have had to keep focusing my brain on three or four different topics rapidly moving between all of them without much time for transition. I have managed to totally confuse several people with random and incoherent comments and then be throughly confused myself when they express their bewilderment at me.

But in larger news we are almost at house buying stage. Waiting on a building and pest inspection for a property in Enmore but if it’s mostly fine then we sign on the dotted line. Which may have something to do with why I am so confused and all over the shop. Scary stuff.

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One of life’s basic truths – Hanlon’s Razor

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And the bloody $1000 PC works 10 times better than the $10,000 server. And it is all set up and cool. So very, very easy when you have all the right pieces.